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Fathers Day Tips

Here are some tips from the Wellsphere Health Portal to help your Dad be healthier.

These were put together by Erika Schwartz, MD, a general internist, an authority on preventive health, and a patient advocate.  She suggests these 12 easy, fun and effective ways to help improve Dad’s overall health and outlook on life, just in time for Father’s day.

Start a new tradition on Father’s Day – help Dad get and stay healthier.  There’s no better gift than health.

P    Take him for a morning walk after a healthy Father’s day breakfast (egg whites, berry smoothie, chicken sausage and Green tea).

P    Get him a set of 20 pound weights to use every day before dinner or at work, if that is feasible.

P    Get him a 5 pound bag of apples or other fruit and nuts he likes as snack basket he can enjoy every day for the next week.

P    Get him a six-pack of soda water to replace colas, other caffeinated drinks and beer.

P    Get him a muscle vibrator that will help relax his shoulders (a better after-work stress reliever than a cocktail)

P    Buy him golf lessons or a month’s membership at a gym

P    Find a walking or cycling group and join together (or just get him a bike)

P    Clear his work materials from his bedroom so he can get a better night’s sleep.

P    Get him a video on good nutrition

P    Go away for a weekend together on an activity trip (walking, boating, camping)

P    Line up his father or brother to engage in family-designated physical activity days.

 

And finally remember to....

 

Give him hugs

With these positive gifts you can help your Dad to stay with you longer.

Climbing films

Last night I was in Cockermouth watching a collection of films about climbing.  The climbers were explaining that one of the compelling things about the sport was the existence of doubt.  The doubt about whether or not it was possible to get to the top of the route that you decide to climb.  As you haven't climbed the route before you do not actually know exactly what lies ahead.  You don't know how steep it is, how good the holds will be, how slippery or grippy it will be, how much effort it will need.  So although you might set out believing that you can get to the top there is always doubt.  And with that comes the fear.  However by overcoming the doubt and fear you can climb to the top and feel the exhilaration of reaching that pinnacle of achievement.

Most people set goals and we don't actually know what does lie ahead for us, just like the climbers.  However much you believe in your own success, you cannot control the world and those around you.  So there will always be room for doubt.  What will get you to the top is the willingness to just give it a go and see what happens.  The climbers fell off their routes lots of times last night but they didn't give up, they just got back on and tried again.

So when it looks like it might be going pear shaped, stay tied on to your rope and give it another go.

My day

Got up at 5.45 and left at 6.45 to drive to Newcastle.  Managed to get parked just before 8.  Went and had a bacon sandwich for my breakfast before a coaching appointment at 8.30.  Then back to my car aka office for a couple of hours for email, a telephone coaching session, rescheduling coaching appointments and talking to a couple of clients.  The car park man thinks I am mad! I have an email reminding me my electronic newsletter needs to be written tonight.

At 1pm I seek a sandwich for lunch then its off to deliver a two hour session on Networking for senior administrators at a university client.  Catch up with main client contact after that.  Creep out of Newcastle in heavy traffic and get home to a gorgeous evening about 15 minutes before a coaching client is due to call.  I carry in two boxes of training materials for a course running in a couple of weeks time.  These were delivered by courier today and left in the porch, very handy.  Just have time to light the fire.  When the client is ten minutes late I decide she is not going to call, put together some dinner and head outside into the sun to eat it.  The next coaching client does call and by this time I have checked the email and replied to any that need replies.

After that I start to get everything ready for tomorow's couurse, trainer's manual, certificates, eval forms, books for the resource table.  I restock all the toner in the printer and set printing a bunch of manuals that I need on Tuesday which will need to be bound by the time I leave home on Sunday afternoon.  There is still another session to be written and that will get done on Saturday night then those manuals will have to be printed and bound before I leave on Sunday.  I can see that with the time rapidly evaporating I may be taking the binder with me.

I send off details for today's invoices and then a friend calls to confirm a date for a weekend visit.  Suddenly its 12.30 and I still have to write the newsletter.  Better go and do it then as I need to be up again at horrid o'clock for another day in Newcastle.

This is being busy and self employed. I certainly wouldn't do it for anyone else.  How was your day?

Make me smile

So its the end of the week today.  Time to reflect.  I'd like to reflect on what made me smile this week.

Getting a note from a friend calling himself "right tardy" for taking so long to reply to me. As I read it I could hear him saying it and it made me smile.

Getting a text from a friend calling me "romantic" - with a small "r", after I'd likened myself to the scarlet pimpernel.  As I'm away so much its hard to pin me down.  Being called "romantic" with a small "r" made me smile.

Talking last night to a coaching client who is now taking on the world.  She now realises that she WILL have a fabulous life and SHE will make that happen.  She says I've created a monster.  That made me smile but its her who has changed her life not me.

Having a bacon sandwich for breakfast today.  Its something different from my usual breakfast and makes today special.  And its nicer than toast.

Getting brilliant feedback from a client on an evaluation report I'd written for him.  I could hear the smile on his face as I was listening to his message.  Hearing his smile made me smile.

Driving along the newly opened Haydon Bridge bypass.  In the morning it was all roadworks and cones.  On the way home it was smooth tarmac and a graceful curving road with new vistas across fields.  That made me whoop with joy not just smile after a year of traffic lights, speed restrictions and queues.

What things made you smile this week?  What was it about that event that provoked the smile?  Does remembering it now make you smile again?  What can you do to bring more of those events into your life so there are more smiles every day?  Have a really smiley weekend!!

Believe it will happen

Earlier this week I was chatting with an acquaintance about manifesting.  We talked about manifesting parking spaces and empty roads.  He asked if there was anything else that could be manifested.  During the previous two or three days I'd had 4 days work cancelled by a couple of clients. I told him about this and said that I was confident that by the end of the week those days that had been cancelled would be replaced.

At that moment I had no idea where that extra work might come from.  I was not waiting for clietns to call back to confirm dates or anyhthing like that.

Then within 24 hours I had a call from a client who wanted to run a Fresh Steps course - thats 4 days work.  This was completely unexpected.  I also then took another call to be offered some really interesting work on a project for the British Council.  So bingo more work than was lost has now been replaced. I really need to dig out his email address and let him know......

All you need to do is be clear on what you want and send out the intention.  The universe will do the rest.  What do you want for your future?  Just ask.

First Impressions

I've been away in London today at a meeting with some potential new clients.  They are a global organisation and I had just 4 minutes to get in front of them and pitch what I have to offer.  This is a rather daunting prospect.  Get myself all the way down there for only 4 minutes of their time.  Of course it turned out to be much more than a speed dating session and I think that we both learned a lot about each other.

There is never anything truer than "you never have a second chance to make a frst impression".  And given what I do it is essential that I embody everything about that in my "speech". When do you have to make a first impression?  Or when do you have only a very limited time to make an impression?  What will you do to make that count?

In this case going against all advice and perceived wisdom, I didn't prepare anything. I know my products inside out.  It was important to show how what I do and the way that I do it, was directly relevant to the way that the client works and their needs.  Therfore I had to listen to what had gone before and tailor what I said.  So preparing something in advance would not have worked. And of course one of the best things about what I do is that I am always adapting material to the current needs of the group and that makes it fresh every time. So I was therefore able to stand up and respond appropriately to what I  had learned during the afternoon.

What is the best way for you to make a fabulous first impression?  Do you need to prepare?  What do you need to prepare? How will you do that?

Late night breakfast

Its been really busy - maybe I have said that before......Anyway, I'm working late and getting up early and in severe danger of not looking after myself.  So I've started making my breakfast before I go to bed.  Not eating it like we all did when we were students (cornflakes at midnight) but preparing it all so that all I have to do in the morning is assemble it. 

I have chopped up fruit and yoghurt with ground up seeds.  What I've noticed though is that time seems to work differently at night from the way that it works in the morning.  When I prepare all of this at night it take about 10-15  minutes.  In the morning it seems to take much longer. And that's nothing to do with me being half awake, cos I am actually a morning person.

Whatever the time is doing though, just making this one really small change to my routine has made a big difference. I feel much more relaxed in the morning and I know I'll have time for a proper breakfast.  If you want to make changes in your life to feel better, be less stressed or achieve more success, you don't need to make great big leaps.  Just tweaking things slightly will often take you a long way in the direction you want to go.  It will feel much safer to take those small steps as well.  And you are more likely to stay with the change if its only a small change, rather than lapsing back into old habits.

So what one small thing can you change today that would make a big difference to your quality of life?

Sharing your stuff

I've just sent a present to a friend.  Well I suppose you would describe it as a present. I eat lots of olives and buy them in big jars.  Because of this I have lots of big glass jars in the house.  I had a friend who needed a big glass jar so I sent her one.  Now to her that is a special jar and she has a special use for it.  However to me it was just one of several spares.

Its a real illustration of how something that you have plenty of and isn't really remarkable to you, can be special for someone else when you share it with them.  This applies to real concrete stuff, like glass jars, but also to all those invisible resources as well.  So if you are filled with joy and have plenty of it then its great to share that with someone for whom it would be special. I have bags of confidence, I always have had, its nothing special to me and I share that with lots of women to help them have more of their own confidence.

And the interesting thing about this sort of sharing is that often you will find that sharing stuff means it comes back to you in the end.  So, what do you have lots of that you maybe don't feel is particularly special to you, but could make a real difference to someone else.  Who can you share that with today?

The breadwinners

There was a programme about agony aunts on the radio a week or so ago.  One of the excerpts was referring to the situation in families over breakfast.  The fact that it can all be such a hubub that the breadwinner can get in such a state, trying to get ready, get out of the door, that they are then in no fit state to even enjoy the bread that they are going out to win.

That was broadcast in the 1960s but nothing much has changed today.  How many of us are working at such a pitch that we spend our free time recovering with no energy to enjoy that time or do the things that we enjoy.  If that is the case for you then when are you going to be able to enjoy the bread that you have won?  What are you going to do to get some time when work is completely out of your mind, when you are not still thinkng about it and planning on your days off, when you recover your life.

I'm as guilty as anyone.  I have been so busy that I barely have time to think.  Someone this week did actually ask me why I bothered having a house.  Good point!

Being out there winning the bread is a laudable pursuit.  Be ready to enjoy the fruits of your labours rather than working yourself to a stop.  Recognise when enough is enough and shut the door on work and open the one that leads to real life, enjoyment, recharging and refreshing.

A glass of merlot and Andy Hamilton

A friend sent me a copy of her latest artwork this evening.  Wow!! What a brilliantly vibrant piece. At the end an extremely busy day it reminded me that one of the important reasons for working is getting the money and time to engage in some creative activities.

Also, on a weekend when I have to write a complex tender, rewrite a course for a client, prepare for my Fresh Steps taster and a senior women's programme with a new client AND make a start on a really creative presentation for next Saturday, seeing her picture really reminded me that my creativity is really helping me every day.

And it reminded me that I need to write more non-work stuff.  Writing tenders is one sort of challenge and poetry/prose is different.

And it reminded me that we should celebrate and share what we achieve so I poured a glass of merlot, grabbed a bowl of olives and listened to the first episode of Old Harry's Game as a celebration of  this week's achievements – getting my second newsletter off the ground (going out on Monday), having a successful meeting on Tuesday, getting in front of a new global client, getting some fantastic feedback on my coaching and the Positive Energy newsletter, getting Google analytics to work on my blog so I now know that 85% of you readers come from the UK, getting blog readers through from Twitter, getting paid earlier than anticipated  by a client, fantastic profit forecast for 08/09, selling 60% of my 08/09 days only 4 months into the financial year, finally getting my laptop collected for repair.

And I thought that this week had been a bit flat!!

 What do you have to celebrate this week?  How will you do that?

Moments of bliss

"Oh how to describe those moments of bliss" quoted a character in a radio drama this evening.  You may wonder to what she referred.  Well in fact it was watching a film with a really good friend in a very comfortable seat with delicious refreshments.

When you seek enjoyment and gladness it doesn't have to be an earth shattering event. I've found joy in the last few days in seeing the Cumbrian mountains from the train, a hug from a good friend, an email from a client telling me of their success, some feedback on my newsletter and my own success in winning though to the presentation stage of a tender process from a field of 90.   I've also really enjoyed some crunchy tasty oatcakes, seeing my junior neighbours careering past on their bikes and a vase of daffodils in a cafe.

Moments of bliss have a great effect on the brain, releasing loads of feel good chemicals. They also give you your very own bliss archive.  Those memories are stored away and always available to you.  When you think about those past joyful events your brain also produces feel good chemicals.  So a moment of bliss is actually forever, filed for access whenever you want to re-create that feeling of joy, gladness and happiness.

What moments of bliss have you enjoyed this week?  What archive moments of bliss can you re-create today?

Why are you queuing?

I had another challenging transport day yesterday.  I was at Birmingham International station with no trains at all going North due to a fatality at the next station.  There were about 200 people queuing for buses and another 50 or so in the queue for taxis.  It was just gone midday and I had been up since 3.30am. I was certainly not in the mood for queuing and I just wanted to get home.

So a thought came to me.  That station is right next to the airport and is connected by a monorail taking just 1minute.  I hopped across to the airport and jumped straight into a taxi to New St station. No queues, no crowds, no waiting.

All it needed was the creative thinking to make the connection.  But how many of us feel that we are waiting in line in our lives and work for something to happen, feeling that you have to let the others go first, that you have to hang on until the appointed time, until you came to the top of the pile or the front of the queue.  Yet maybe, just a minute away, there is a place where you don't have to queue, where people want to help you, where there are resources and facilities aplenty, where there is opportunity. It could be right in the next office or just around the corner and you haven't seen it cos you've been blinkered, focusing on keeping your place in the queue right in front of you, just like everyone else.

I say, life is too short for queuing.  Think creatively about where there are no queues and how could you get there.  What will you do to queue-jump today?  How will it feel when your queueing days are behind you and you have all that stuff that you have been waiting for?

The best year yet?

See I don't really believe in being talked down by all those gainsayers out.  It may not be cool or popular to say it but I am going to.......

Are you ready?

I am having my best year yet!!

Yes its completely true.  Exisiting clients are throwing more work at me almost daily. I am getting new clients and I am getting calls from people who want to work with me in a variety of new and different ways. Hey you may think that I'm lucky, that I have some secret formula.  Well let me tell you the secret.

Are you ready?

Its bloody hard work.  All that client work does not fall out of the sky I can tell you. Its about applying yourself, doing the hard graft, not giving up when you get a no the first time round all mixed up with a very healthy amount of always putting the client first, doing a damn good job when you get out there to do your thing and believing that everything will go right, having a sales accumulator graph on the wall in front of me and expecting to be successful.  And yes there are some nights with just a few hours sleep.  Yes there are the days when the public transport system lets you down or the bank seems to be your worst enemy, but thats just real life and no-one ever died from real life.  Above all its  about having a passion and belief in what I'm doing.  For me thats what makes the difference between good and great.

So if I can buck the recession trend so can you.  If you want to have the best year yet for you and your life just decide to make it that way.  Think positve, take action towards those positive goals, give something back and expect the best.  But remember - the secret is taking action, not just thinking about it.  What action can you take today to make this your best year yet?

Vote for happiness!!

The Mind Gym award an academic prize for the best research on positive psychology.  You can look at short videos prepared by this years short list entrants and post your vote here.

My vote went to the Happiness research.  If there is one thing that almost everyone wants on my development programmes its to be happier. I'm delighted to see that the research backs up my gut feeling - that having more things doesn't make you  happy.  When I look around at the people I know the ones that have always seemed the happiest are the ones having more experiences, doing more things, interacting with more and different people, travelling, doing new things and trying out new ideas, expanding their experiences.

Its great cos it now shows that you can do things to make you happy.  As the guy says " The take-home message: to become happier, start doing something new. If you do it well, and also vary how, when, and where you do it, then you can gain lasting benefits."

What new things can you do this week that will make you happier.  How can you vary the new things you did last week to keep this new state of happiness?

Being a semi-detached boss

Imagine the situation. You have a deep commitment to your work. You have trained for years, often earning very little money. Its difficult for your to get on in your world. You do land a great job and move up through the ranks, often involving you moving around the countryside. Eventually you start to move up into management. You are very popular with everyone you work with but there are usually just a handful of detractors wherever you go. Finally it seems like you might be able to get into a senior management role, in regional management. However the organisation needs to change its rules to allow you to do that. And when they change those rules they might say that if the local managers below you don't feel that they can accept being managed by you they can opt to be managed by a different regional manager.

How daft is that, how insidiously undermining to the authority of your role. What incentive does it give you to do well? What a waste of talent on behalf of the organisation. And to top it all how unfair is it after you've worked so hard to get to where you are? Ultimately is it the best thing for the clients that you are working with?

Well that is exactly the situation that might happen for women bishops. After voting last year for the ordination of women as bishops, the General Synod of the Church of England this week seems to be backtracking and shuffling its feet, wondering if it's the right thing to do after all.

In no other organisation would we accept this. This sort of behaviour would immediately be referred to the Equalities commission and would probably quite soon be the subject of an employment tribunal. So why, when God is the CEO and Chairman, the very epitome of equality and fairness, is the Church of England continuing with this institutional sex discrimination?

Perfect 10

Well the nice people at the NECC have changed their course evaluation forms.  When asked how likely they were to reccommend the course to a friend I scored straight 10s today.  This brought their whole week's averages soaring up so its a great end to the week for them.  I'm also particuarly pleased as its been a very busy week and I was very tired today,

As trainers we get external verification almost every time we do any work.  Its great to have all those positive strokes but do we really need them?  I guess we all need to be told that we are doing a good job even when we already know.  I can feel when things are going right so although I like the eval forms I really want them so that the client can see that it all went really well, cos they are not usually in the room.

How do you know if things are going well?  What do you feel?  What do you hear?  What do you see?  If you can capture that then you'll need less external verification and can plan to be your own best supporter, giving yourself positive feedback whenever necessary.  What did you do well today?

Silence is golden

So the exhausting saga continues.....

I noticed the back box hanging of last weekend. Garage took it off and ordered bits. I've been driving with a straight through pipe ever since, until getting it fixed today. If you ever thought that your silencer didn't do very much then think again. I can't really describe the pain in my ears. It may have really sounded like its true identity - the boy racer car, but that was no compensation when I had to sit tortured by the sound for hours. It would happen on a week when I had to go to Kendal, York, Newcastle (twice) and then Carlisle. And I couldn't exactly creep away from the house at 5.30am and not wake the neighbours.

My small saving grace was two tiny bits of foam - ear plugs saved me from going mad and ripping my ears off. But I noticed a surprising thing. Once I had the ear plugs in properly and I was driving around with only a muffled roar reaching me I seemed to perceive the world very differently. Moderating my hearing seemed to affect also how I saw things and also made me somehow less connected with the world. It was a very weird phenomenon. Anyway it gave me an idea for a creativity exercise.

How would it be if we did more things with one of our senses occluded or reduced in acuity? How about if you cooked or gardened with a peg on your nose? How about if you listened to music whilst blindfolded? How about if you went on a photography trip with ear plugs in? I have often read that when you lose one of your senses the other ones become keener. What would it be like if you could induce that without actually losing the other sense but just temporarily restricting it and learning to use the other senses better? Your body and brain are great experimental tools. What can you study with them today?

Welsh Rarebits

On the train yesterday I encountered a group of women heading to Edinburgh.  They were "girls on tour" with their sequinned red dragon T shirts and bottles of coke laced with vodka.  They had ended up in the "quiet coach" and upset people with their high spirits, good humour and loud jokes and laughter.  They were enjoying themselves, having a great time.  They had abandoned husbands, children, work and responsibilities to let their hair down, relax and get away for the weekend.

Although I have to admit that it was a lot more peaceful when they moved to the next carriage, I admire them for their attitude.  In the face of disapproval they were just being themselves, not modulating their behaviour, moulding it into what everyone else expected from a group of women probably aged from 30 to their late 40s.  It was very refreshing to see.  Yes I sympathise with the passengers who wanted a quiet journey, but hey, it was Friday afternoon, the country was at a standstill becaue of the weather - its OK to have some fun sometimes.

And how different would people's reactions have been if it had been a group of men?  When I eventually got off the train I walked down the platform to find their carriage and held up a written note to the window that read "Have a great time!  Enjoy!".  Go girls!

When did you last let your hair down, abandon all inhibitions and let go?  What would happen if you did?

Keep smilin thru

The last two day have been a time of trial by weather for many.  I've chosen to stay smiling and believe that the best would happen.

Yesterday I had a flight to Stansted from Newcastle.  This was a good thing cos it was the only airport open.  Bristol, Luton, East Midlands and Birmingham all were shut with snow.  At the end of the day I then went by train to Swindon.  I arrived hopefully at an eerily empty Paddington at 5.30pm and was safely delivered to my destination on time amidst gloomy predictions of travel chaos.

Then today I had to get to Bristol from Swindon for a flight, with heavy snow making travel difficult.  Fate deliverd me a coaching client with a 4x4 (thanks Michelle) who drove me to Bristol Parkway station where we holed up to regroup.  We laughed a lot and believed that we'd get it sorted out.  I took a train.  My gut feeling that the airport would remain closed and my flight cancelled turned out to be right and I actually got home earlier than if I had been on the plane.  Despite both Severn crossings being closed Michelle also got to Wales eventually.

Are you facing the world with equanimity, believing the best will happen?  What's your disaster recovery plan if everything fails?  What would be a more helpful emotion than worry and anxiety?

Proud to be Australian

The BBC announced this morning that the difference between the minimum temperature in the UK and the maximum temperature in Sydney was around 60 degrees.  Thats an amazing fact.  They then interviewed a number of Australians, asking them if they wanted to swap their heatwave for the snowy environment in the UK.  Not surprisingly they all said no.  One said "I'm proud to be Australian and I love my country.  I wouldn't swap it for anywhere".

I thought how refreshing it was to hear someone express that sort of pride.  I've very rarely heard anyone say that about Britain.  Somehow its become unfashionable to express pride, and not just pride in your country either.  How unusual is it for you to express pride in anything - your work, your children, your successes, your home or garden or creative projects, your friends or the support that they give you.

So just for a minute think of what you're proud of.  I'm proud of what I've achieved with my work - bringing opportunites for development to so many women.  I'm also proud of my course particpants for the many amazing things that they go on to achieve.  I'm proud of all my climbing and skiing friends who keep in touch when often I can't get out and join them because of work pressures.  I'm proud of taking the circulation of my newsletter to over 700 and I'm proud of my independance.

What are you proud of?  What does that tell you about yourself?  Who will you tell about that pride tomorrow? 

Snow bound

Did you give up trying to get to work today? As I work at home I didn't have that problem, but I did have to get into town for an appointment. There is about 6 inches of snow outside and I cleared the car with a brush. I knew that the journey would split into 3 bits in terms of difficulty. Firstly getting out along our drive and onto the road. Driving on fresh snow that only a few vehicles have passed over. Interesting and a bit like a slow waltz. The second bit down into the village was about the hairiest bit - a steep hill down and still lots of snow on the road. Then several miles on slippy back roads and after that plain sailing as I was onto the main A road. However none of it was really difficult or dangerous. Yes I slithered around a bit, but the road wasn't busy so it wasn't an issue. Yes I had difficulty getting the last 10 yards back to the house. But that was right here and the neighbours could have pushed if needs be. In fact that is just what we've been doing when one of my neighbours slewed into the bank just now. So I'm very glad that I went out and didn't just give up even before I'd started. Having that attitude of just having a go, see what happens, I'm sure I'll cope really helps. It's all too easy to just sit on the sidelines and believe that you can't achieve things. That attitude in life will not even take you outside your front door, let alone onto the promotion, fantastic new job, brilliant new life that you have always wanted. So if it's in the snow or in your life, just give it a go.

Getting to grips with the to-do list

I was so busy training last week that I ended up with only Wednesday evening to catch up with admin and prepare for two days of delivery and client and supplier meetings. I jotted down everything that needed to be done and the list had 16 items on it. It has to be said that there were 3 items on that list that didn't HAVE to be done immediately but everything else was critical for the next two days.

Now I know that some people are completely overwhelmed by having a to-do list like that. However I view it very differently. It's a bit like being in a sweetie shop with jars and jars of different sweets. There is so much choice. Today I can have liquorice allsorts and tomorrow butter toffees. Having a long list to me is great as it gives me a huge choice over what I do and the order that I do it in. I had about 5 hours to get most of it done and it didn't really matter in what order it was done. So as my feeling changed minute by minute I was able to select things from the list that I felt like doing. It was also good because I could make a start on one thing - printing out materials for example, and then go on to something else whilst that was in progress, therefore working on two things at once.

The trick is to look at things differently, in a positive light, rather than being weighed down by negative perceptions. How could you look at your to do list differently? How will that help you be more successful?

Trimming psychology

Today I was having my hair cut. My hairdresser at Toni & Guy Carlisle is Chinese so we were talking about the Chinese New Year. This fell on Monday and many people will be celebrating over the weekend. I asked him if he would be celebrating the Chinese New Year. He said that he didn't need it to be New Year to have a reason to celebrate. He'll be getting a bottle of wine out anyway.

I absolutely approve of that attitude. Why do we always need to wait for a "Special Occasion" to celebrate? How do you feel when you celebrate? You feel great, happy, euphoric, up, buzzing. Why would you want to wait to feel like that? Wouldn't it be great to feel like that every day?

So I recommend that you celebrate every day, just like my hairdresser. At the end of the day work out what went well today. What are your achievements? What did you do well? What did people thank you for? What should you give yourself a pat on the back for? It doesn't need to be anything major, even just getting through the day can be an achievement.

Once you've done that work out what the celebration will be. It doesn't have to be alcoholic!! Maybe its just allowing yourself an extra ten minutes in bed tomorrow, or eating that extra special yoghurt you've been saving, or phoning a friend you've not spoken to for ages.

The more you celebrate the more positive you'll become, the more positive you are the more success you'll attract and the more you'll have to celebrate. It's a virtuous circle. What are you celebrating today?

Old and simple remedies

There was an item on the news tonight about some research into flu. They've found that you can significantly reduce your risk of infection by wearing a mask. Not just any old wad of cotton though, a proper sugical mask. Its really surprising that no-one has done this research before. It just indicates that there are still old fashioned and easy ways to solve problems still waiting to be discovered, even today in the 21st century. We should remember this when trying to solve our own problems. Instead of seeking a complicated and many layered solution, ask yourself "Whats the simplest and easiest answer to this problem?" I have a friend who is trying to get his dog looked after when he's on holiday. Taking it to the kennels seems obvious but its complicated by their strict opening hours, his lack of car and of course the cost. He has another friend who loves dogs, would pick it up, drop it off and lavish it with love and long walks. Problem solved easily. The other day I ended up at Birmingham instead of Bristol when my flight was re-routed. The complexity of getting from there to my final destination by public transport was baffling. Just hire a car, get in it and drive there. Simple. Sorted. Ok, not very kind to the planet but got me where I needed to be. So don't struggle with long winded answers, solutions that need a degree to understand them or resolutions written on more than half a page. Get simple and your problems at home and at work disappear more quickly.

Your top team

Who are your top team? They are your board of directors, your trusted advisors, your unofficial mentors and coaches. Most companies however small have a team that helps them set strategy, deal with major issues and plan their growth. As an individual you can do exactly the same thing and have a top team who you talk to when you need advice.

I'm considering making major changes to my business life and about a month ago I was mulling over the opportunity. I felt uncomfortable and sort of edgy about it and knew I needed to get the advice of my top team. Because my business is me, any major changes are as much about me as they are about the business. I have a top team who I consult about major things in my life. In the space of one evening I spoke to 7 very different people, all friends who know me well. They had very different perceptions of what this might mean for me. They each highlighted different things that I should be thinking about and had a different reaction to the idea. Some were very cautious, some thought it was a risky move, some thought it might compromise my freedom to do the other things that I enjoy doing and some saw it as a fantastic opportunity.

However none of them said they didn't want to talk about it and they all said that I should keep in touch about what was happening. After these calls I felt much more settled. Although I hadn't made a final decision about what to do I felt I was better prepared to ask the right questions that would help me to gather the data that I needed. I've spoken to them all again this week as the matter progresses. It's a difficult one to make a decision about and although no-one else can make the decision for me, knowing that the top team care about my happiness and my future really helps.

Who are your top team? When did you last ask then for advice? How can you include them more in your decision making? What can you do to help them in return?

When would you give up?

I had an interesting day in Thursday. I flew to Bristol to get to a meeting in Devon. After two aborted landings in fog, we got re-routed and I ended up in Birmingham. We sat on the tarmac for ages before the captain made a decision to fly us back to Bristol. I worked out that by the time we had got clearance and actually got back it would too late for me to make it by bus and train to my meeting. I therefore asked to get off the plane. The EasyJet staff were quite shocked by this. Clearly its an irregular request and they didn't really have a procedure. However once I had said I wanted to get off so did 5 other people.

So I got off and hired a car to drive to Devon. Then the M5 was closed. Although I avoided this, thanks to information from my world class PA, the A roads around the diversion were still very congested. I did finally reach my destination about 2 hours late and was able to have my meeting.

However a lot of other people would have given up. How much determination do you have to keep going when the going gets tough? What would it actually take to make you give up? Do you give up too easily? Do you keep going when its hopeless?

Sometimes you have to make apparently foolish decisions in the face of difficult circumstances. But at least you have done something to keep moving forwards. The most frustrating time for me on Thursday was sitting on the tarmac. If you are not moving do something, anything to change the situation..

Exhaust knocking?

Today I took the car to the garage and got my exhaust sorted. It was a minor bit of work, took them about half an hour. It had been knocking really badly until the pipe-work warmed up and more recently even after that. It sounded dreadful and was really irritating. Its been niggling at me for about 2 months. I would notice it as I drove away from the house and then forget it as soon as I got out of the car. But it was steadily getting worse and a friend remarked on it recently. It was a terrible noise, sounded as it something big was falling apart.

However despite all this and knowing exactly what it was, it took me two months to sort it out. Now its great. Sounds much better, no knocking, nice and smooth no matter how fast I go around bends. Its was so easy why didn't I do it ages ago?

Well there are many, many things in life that that. They are small and niggly and you don't sort them out. They needle and irritate and have the potential to become bigger issues if not dealt with. You know the sort of thing. Your partner never filling the car with petrol, your mates always getting the round in and getting you the wrong drink, your kids inviting friends around on homework nights, your boss assuming you'll do the overtime cos you are the only woman without children, your colleagues never filling the photocopier with paper or toner. Its these little things that don't get dealt with that can gnaw away at you leading to a flare up or can become a bigger issue like when you have limited time to catch a train and the car needs petrol on the way.

Just think how much better life could be if you dealt with those small issues today. Think how much smoother your day would be. Think how much stress you could remove with just one small adjustment. Think how easy it would be to address it.

What small niggly issue are you dealing with today? How will you reward yourself when its sorted.

Making Dreams Come True

Today one of my long desired dreams came true. I clipped into my skis outside my back door and skied off down into the village to the Post Office. Skiing from the back door is something I've wanted to do for a long time. We have a lot less snow in Cumbria than we used to so I've had to wait 6 years for the opportunity. Although there have been times when we've had sufficient snow before, I've always been away from home. Everyone in the village now think that I'm mad but I really enjoyed the experience. And it was a superb work-out too; I got home glowing and very very warm from the exercise. Later I was talking with a friend and she said how lucky I was to be able to do that. Well surprisingly I don't really believe in luck. Either you've sent an intention out to the universe that has delivered what you wanted or it's a combination of preparation meeting opportunity. I've been preparing for years; getting the right kit, learning the techniques, building confidence, watching and learning about the weather and the snow. And the opportunity was created because of the way that I've been managing my work. I'm having more concentrated periods of work and therefore longer periods at home. So to create your own luck you need to be preparing so that when that opportunity arises you are ready to jump right in. What's your heart's desire? What are you doing now to be ready when that opportunity presents itself?

New Year Revolutions

We live in the age of recycling and reusing.  At this time of year everyone is rushing around trying to keep to thier new year resulotions or trying to make some up if they got left out of the New Year hurly burly.  Trying here of course is the operative word.  And the problem with it is that as long as you tell yourself you are trying, that is all you will do.  You will keep trying and possibly never actually succeed. 

Its a very plucky thing to do, just keep trying.  Well I say that never mind new resolutions, just recycle the ones that you already have.  How's that for a revolution!  Well its easy really.  How many times last year did you say to yourself "I really must stop doing that" or maybe "I must rememebr that when I do X I need to do it that way" or maybe "I really should do X or Y this week". 

So my new year revolution is to advise you to just recycle all of those everyday resolutions that you made at any time last year.  These are only small things and they can make a big difference to your life.  Achieving suuccess in these small things, rather than just trying, will make you feel good about yourself and will spur you on to greater challenges.  And because they are small things they are not intimidating or difficult to achieve.

So get out all those tired old resolutions, dust them off and get cracking!!

Have you lost your spring?

I hadn't been anywhere for two days on Monday when I got the car out. I turned the wheel and under the bonnet it went TWANG! That, dear readers, is the sound of a broken spring. I know that because my old car had the same problem. The garage have ordered the part and it'll be here in a day or so. What I want to know is - how come a spring can break when the car is sitting there for two days not moving? One of life's great imponderables. However as well as my car losing its spring it seems that I've lost some of my spring too. A friend visited last week and told me that I wasn't my normal bouncy self. I hadn't noticed this, but on reflection he was right. As a result of the combination of all the travelling, doing things at the last minute, getting to financial year end, coping with the VAT change I had just run out of steam. What is interesting is that until I was interacting with someone else I hadn't noticed it. So since last week I've been taking better care of myself. We've sorted out the finance stuff and I now have about 3 weeks without any work travel so everything has calmed down a bit. I'm also feeling good as things are looking bright for next year. I'm talking to half a dozen potential new clients who are very warm prospects. I already have trips planned to Australia, Spain and France and others might follow. How do you know how much spring you have? What will you do if you also run out of spring?

Where have you come from?

I've just reached my company financial year end. I was discussing this with a friend on Sunday. We have had a slight drop in overall income this year for a variety of reasons. None of these are to do with the credit crunch. However, looking forward to next year I am optimistic. We already have as much work scheduled for next year as we have done this year. That means that whatever new work I secure from here on is an addition to our bottom line, giving a greater income for next year. That's really good news to have just before xmas. But even better, my friend asked how that compared to last year. Well that's the critical thing. Looking back to December 2007, we didn't have the same level of work already programmed in for 2008. So that means that we are already ahead year on year. And that feels even better. I hadn't really taken that in until my friend asked that question. Sometimes we can only see how far we have come by looking back and seeing where we have come from. We often don't do that cos life is always moving forwards, we look to the future, we plan and set goals. So actually analysing where we were a year ago, a few months ago or even a week ago allows us to see how far we have progressed up our success ladder. And of course our success is not just measured financially but also in how we feel, how well our projects are progressing, how well our relationships are going and a million other measures that are meaningful to you. So how far have you come this year? Where were you a year ago? Where do you plan to be in a year's time?

Be like a child for a while

I've had friends staying over the weekend and its been great fun. We were up late chatting last night and I went outside to check on the weather. It was snowing which I find SO exciting. So I summoned everyone else to come and look. We were like a bunch of kids, wondering what it would be like tomorrow, would there be enough for me to get my skis out, for the boys to make a snowman, what would the roads be like, and how long would it last. Its really refreshing to get back to those pure feelings of excitement, wonder, joy and sheer enjoyment that we had when we were young. As adults all too often we are far too grown up. We think it's not seemly to whoop with joy and leap about excitedly, to rush outside into the snow without a coat, to just laugh and giggle sometimes for no reason at all. We spend too much time being responsible, sensible, organised and often just plain boring. So I say in the run up to the busy holiday season its time to rediscover the things that give you a child-like delight and to simply enjoy those moments when you are doing these things. Life is far too short to be sensible all the time. Loose a whole load of years for half an hour. What made you squeal with joy when you were 7 and 8? Go out and do that now!!!

Whats your passion?

I had a friend staying the other day. He is a Liverpool fan and they were playing a game. Every now and again his phone would go off when it alerted him that they had scored. He apologised for it. "You don't mind if I look at this do you?" I don't mind - it's important to him, its something that he cares about. Is there stuff you care about? Or do you just fade into the background, just another grey person with nothing to distinguish you from anyone else. I've often found that people can be all too politically correct about stuff, not want to put their hand up and be counted, actually speak out about stuff that they care about. It doesn't matter what you care about really, just that there is something that gets you excited. That something will give you some zing, make you seem alive. It will drive you to action and colour what you do. It will set you apart from people around you. And when the chips are down it can give you something to live for, a reason to keep going. What you really care about makes you who you are to some extent. If you don't really care very much about anything then who are you, really? What do you care about? Does anyone know that?

Move along the bus

I've been on the bus to Newcastle today to see some clients. It's about a 90 minutes journey and on the outward trip I was almost the first on the bus so could sit right at the front. I can suffer from travel sickness so I like to be able to see where I am going. On the way back the bus was much busier and I ended up near the back. My window was covered with a logo on the outside. Looking through it was like peering through mesh and made me feel queasy. As soon as I could I moved to the next row forwards. I really wanted to be nearer to the front but there were no seats available. However, gradually, as people got off I was able to move first a few rows, then a few more until finally I had the seat I wanted. This didn't take too long and I spent most of the journey in the place that I wanted. That's actually how most of us make progress in life. It's about taking opportunities as they arrive, moving forwards in small steps towards where you want to be. Sometimes, as I did, you might have to move from side to side to get to your ultimate seat, but each of those moves takes you closer to the front and gives you a fresh outlook. Of course if a space does come up right at the front then its great to leap right for it, cos you never know who is going to get on next and take that seat ahead of you. If you don't leap, even if you're not quite ready to move, then there may not be any seats when you are ready. Don't walk away from any opportunities without considering them. You never know just when they'll come past again. Where is the seat that you ultimately want to travel in? What steps did you take towards it today?

Be spontaneous

It's great to be focused and have a plan to achieve your goals. Having to-do lists and knowing what you have to achieve every day is a great motivator. Knowing where you are going keeps you moving in the right direction. However it's also important to find time for spontaneity. We can start to feel hemmed in and restricted if we stick rigidly to our plans and don't take advantages of opportunities that might come along. Taking the spontaneous path sometimes can leave us refreshed and invigorated. We may gain new momentum and encounter fresh ideas. Whatever else happens we get a beneficial change of environment and do things differently. This weekend is allocated to catching up on admin. I've been really busy over the last few weeks and have had very little time for being organised. Those day-to-day things that need keeping an eye on in the office just don't get done when you are actually out of the office most of the time. So far I've been pretty productive, getting some stuff in the post, dealing with the incoming mail, getting expenses sorted out. Then I decided to have a break and go out. Its brilliantly sunny here and although its cold, I really wanted to be outside. I've spent too many days inside when the weather has been really inviting. So I took my sacks and headed off to the wood to collect fire-lighting sticks. I always keep a stock indoors and they are starting to get low. I was rewarded by the sight of a deeply coloured red squirrel scurrying away up a tree as I passed and several pheasants taking flight at my approach. The floor in the wood is really yielding with fallen leaves until I reached the north facing slopes where the ground was still all frozen. That really brought home to me just how cold it has been. Having got back I am feeling invigorated and ready to grab some lunch and get on with all the things that are still waiting to be done. What have you done spontaneously this week? What can you do today that you weren't planning?

Being superwoman

I was working with some senior women in the Midlands this week. It was the end of our programme and we were taking some feedback. One woman said that she had been a bit anxious about being invited to attend as she knew quite a lot of the names on the list. She thought that they were all superwomen who she may not be able to measure up to. Once she arrived and got to know everyone she realised that they were all normal people. They were good at their jobs and juggling busy lives, just like she was. She felt really relieved but then had a light bulb moment. If she was sitting in the room with all these supposed "superwomen" then maybe she was a superwoman too! She asked some of the other women and they said that they really admired everything that she achieved and the way that she had a great relationship with her staff and actually got huge amounts done. At the end of the day she went home feeling fantastic as she'd become a superwoman simply by being herself and associating with other successful people. Anyone can be a super-person. In fact you may be a superwoman or superman in someone else's eyes, yet not realise it. You won't know until you ask. And if you were a super-person what would you change? Now go and start work on that - you know you have the powers!

What's your attitude?

This week I'm zooming around the country picking up some training for some of the trainers in our network who are unable to deliver this week. I just arrived south of Birmingham tonight at about 8.30pm after a 4 hour drive from Cumbria. The hotel receptionist was sympathetic to my very hectic schedule. I told her about the reasons for my trip and then she said, what, to me, seemed a very odd thing. She said "So you got the short straw then, driving down to deliver the training at really short notice". I was stunned by that, as that attitude had never occurred to me, nothing could be further from my mind. I'm really pleased to be able to help out colleagues who are in a fix. I'm happy to have work as I happen to have the time available. I'm interested to meet some different clients and people from different organisations. I'm putting on hold the things that I would be doing because its more important to keep the programmes going and to help out colleagues who need it. There is not a bone in my body that feels put upon, short changed or unhappy to be driving down to deliver these programmes. As I said it had never occurred to me. So what that said to me was that my attitude was a long way from what other people's might have been in that situation. I had a much more positive attitude to the situation than the receptionist was expecting. Now that was a surprise to me because I sometimes potter around in my own little world without really checking what is going on outside. So when you are suddenly brought up against the world outside yourself it can be a surprise. And you don't actually know about that unless you ask or you get some sort of feedback like that. What's your attitude and how does that compare to what people are expecting of you? What will you do with the feedback that you have?

Esmerelda the Angel

On radio 4 this afternoon there was an adaptation of the Hunchback of Notre Dame.  Quasimodo sees Esmerelda as an angel when she brings him water.  Angels do good, they often don't think of themsleves, they ask for no thanks and can disappear into the crowd before you even find out who they are.  We all have angels in our lives, yet often we don't recognize them for what they are.  We may only notice them when they have gone.

So in the lead up to christmas recognise your angels before they slip away and thank them.  Return their gifts of help and become an angel yourself.

Happy pets

.or rather pets make you happy Swimming with dolphins can reduce depression. So says an article in the British Medical Journal. So how does this work then? Well its all about your limbic system. Quick anatomy lesson here..your brain is made up of three areas that arose sequentially over time during evolution. The oldest part of the brain is the area that connects to the top of your spinal cord - the hind brain or reptilian brain. This bit of the brain is responsible for many of our automatic reactions such as the fight or flight response. The next oldest part or mid brain is the limbic system. This bit of the brain is made up of several structures and they mostly have roles in mediating our emotional responses. This is then connected to our fore brain, the neo-cortex where most of our logical processing happens. This is also the area responsible for much ideas generation. We know that if small babies do not get enough cuddles or contact with a carer or parent then the limbic part of the brain does not develop correctly. In later life they can have difficulties recognising or responding correctly to emotions. There is something about physical contact with people and other mammals such as pets and now seemingly also dolphins that stimulates the limbic system. We all know that we can feel better simply by getting a hug from a good friend and this response is mediated by the limbic system. We can get the same effect by stroking a dog or a cat. This is why there are charities that exist to take pets into hospitals and to interact with those who are physically or emotionally traumatised. There process is also called limbic resonance. We describe this in our rational way as emotional connection. In babies this means that they feel better when they make eye contact with their mothers and both partners in the interaction feel the same way. It is also used to describe moments when you may be experiencing an emotional event and you get a phone call from someone close to you who asks if you are OK. No-one can really explain how that apparent brain to brain connection can work when the two people are not physically close to each other. I find this sort of thing really interesting. So to keep happy, keep making those emotional connections with the people who are important to you. This is one thing that you can't get via the internet, the physical contact is important. And as the BMJ article says it can also help with depression. So have you had enough hugs today? Have you spent time with someone who cares about you? Have you looked into the eyes of a loved one and smiled? If you live alone where is that physical contact going to come from?

Gross National Happiness

Yesterday there were two items of news that should have been linked but weren't. Two new kings were crowned.

Firstly, a man called Obama won an election in America. This was quite a significant event and an expected handover of kingship. As I looked out at my lovely Lake District view I knew that it looked the same but there had been a subtle shift in the world order overnight. In a nation of contrasts, a world superpower yet one of the most bigoted and parochial on earth, for someone in a minority group to achieve the highest office shows that there really has been movement in attitudes. If gives me faith that the work that I do, helping women to achieve more, is worthwhile. Obama reaching the White House has made many, many people in the US very happy. If you could measure the Gross National Happiness in the US this week it would probably be off the scale.

Also in Bhutan they crowned the new king. Jigme Khesar Namgyel Wangchuck, at 28, is the world's youngest monarch. Khesar takes over from his father in a similar new order where, in recent years, the country has moved to democracy. He presides over a nation where they take as their measure of success Gross National Happiness rather than Gross National Product. GNH is integrated into government policies and procedures and the people are unstintingly loyal to their monarchy. Although they have big and powerful neighbours Bhutan remains a haven of difference. You can read more about GNH here http://www.bhutan.gov.bt/government/gnh.php

Given a choice between Bhutan and USA I would choose to live in Bhutan. That's the reason I am self employed. It gives me more opportunity to do the things I enjoy, to run my life the way that I want and I have more freedom and choice in what I do. All of that adds up to me being a much happier person. If I'm not feeling happy then I need to look at everything and make the small adjustments that will restore the happiness. So in a similar way to Bhutan I am interested in Gross Personal Happiness rather than Gross Personal Output.

What's your GPH reading today? What needs to change to increase that reading?

Every day in every way.......

.....I'm getting better and better.

 

Those of you who remember Frank Spencer will recognise his catch phrase.  Today I’ve been down near Guildford delivering a course to help managers think about how to develop their staff and themselves.  I am often asked by people what courses they can go on to be a better person, to expand their horizons, to develop themselves.  But its not the right question to ask.

You don't need to go on a course.  We all have opportunities to develop our daily lives.

Taking on new tasks or projects at home or at work will help you develop, even if you are only finding better ways to do the same things.  Listening to what people have to say offers you opportunities for development.  Providing feedback to someone else is developmental for you as well as for them.  Being more aware and noticing more things around you helps your development.  Having ideas and also acting on them gives you development chances.  Reading books and magazines, meeting and talking to new people, surfing the web, pondering on something that you read or heard, writing down your thoughts, sharing your ideas with others, planning the future, setting goals, simply observing how other people do things - all of these can be development activities if you approach them in that frame of mind.

 

So every day you could actually get better and better, in many different ways.

 

How are you developing yourself today?  How will you now use that new or improved behaviour, attitude, skill, knowledge or quality tomorrow for positive effect?  Who else benefits when you develop?

What makes you proud?

Shy Keenan and Sara Payne have won Women of the Year 2008. They have campaigned to get Sarah's Law onto the statute books. This law allows parents to know if a paedophile is in the area. The campaign started after Sarah Payne, Sara's 8 year old daughter, was abducted and killed in 2000 by a known paedophile.

There is a link to their acceptance speech here

I was struck by one thing that Sara said. "Do one thing every day that makes you proud and little by little we can change the world". It's a great maxim to live by. Do one thing every day to make you proud. How many of us live lives of mediocrity? We tread water through life, just getting by. We do the minimum required to get through. We cut corners and do a half baked job.

Does living like that every day make you proud? I don't think so. How different would things be if you did them in a way that made you proud? What would that be like? How much better would your life be? How much better would life be for your family and friends? How much happier would you be?

What did you do today that made you proud? What will life be like tomorrow with that feeling?

Whats making your life good?

I was travelling home from Birmingham last night and listening to the radio. There was a commercial radio station on. I have no idea where I was - somewhere on the M6 - my favourite place you'd think, from the amount of time I spend there.

Anyway on the radio there was an advert for LG. They make electrical stuff and their strap line is life's good with LG. There advert was about what's making you life good at the moment. I thought what a good question that was. How would you feel is you asked yourself that question more often?

So instead of dwelling on what is bad spend more time remembering what is good. By doing that you'll feel generally happier and more positive. You'll also be more grateful even for the small things that are good. So instead of whinging and worrying about the cost of food going up, remember that last week you found a chocolate bar the pocket of a jacket you haven't used for a while. Instead of moaning about the fact that the buses never come on time and they are always full, be glad that you've recently found a short cut that means you can get to the office 2 minutes faster. Instead of thinking about the great piles of work on your desk remember that you've got a stack of holiday brochures on the coffee table at home, just waiting for you to browse this evening.

Go for it - you know that you can ask these useful questions. What's making your life good today?

Did you see me on the telly?

Yes today - just 15 seconds of fame on the BBC News channel! At the same time I was also interviewed by local radio.

I was a "physiotherapy patient" commenting on the new proposal that we can now self-refer to an NHS physio. I think that there are probably about another several million others who could have done that, but it was me that was sitting there on camera.

I think self referral is a great idea if it means we can all get our ailments fixed up more quickly. There is good evidence that the sooner you start physio the better the longer term outcome of things like back pain or other musculo-skeletal problems. However perhaps more important, is that it encourages more of us to take personal responsibility for our own health instead of waiting to be fixed by someone else. Now that's a subject close to my heart.

Now I haven't done anything exceptional to get this opportunity. Except, actually, - I did. What I did was take the opportunity to speak out about something that's important to me, something that I care about, by simply commenting on an online news story. So how many of us have had that opportunity and have thought "well my opinion isn't worth very much". Well that's a self fulfilling prophecy if ever I heard one. If you care about something then what you have to say about it is worth hearing. And if you voice those opinions with confidence then look where it can take you.

So when did you last put your hand in the air and say "Yes, I'd like to comment on that.". When were you last moved to respond to or comment on a news item that you saw or heard somewhere, in the national or local media or online for example? What is important to you? What do you stand for? Are you the grey person in the corner who has no opinions? Stand up and be counted!

International Polar Year

I was reading a report today about an expedition to Antarctica. They are investigating a mountain range that lies in the middle of the ice sheet. These are mountains that no-one has ever seen because they are buried under 4km of ice. It's a big project set up for International Polar Year, involving collaboration and co-operation between many disciplines and nations.

As I was reading the report I found myself feeling a bit left out that I wasn't a polar scientist and wouldn't get to travel to the poles or do anything for International Polar Year. I wanted to feel more included. Then I had a brainwave. Of course we can all do something for International Polar Year. There is no doubt at all that the polar ice is becoming thinner due to global warming. The connection with man's activities is incontestable. So we all need to reduce our use of resources. That's about doing more recycling, watching your fuel consumption, turning the thermostat down, reusing rather than throwing away, finding smart ways to reduce your impact on the planet and its natural environment.

By doing your own little personal bit in this way you are contributing to International Polar Year. By doing this we can help to make sure that there is still some ice for the polar scientists to investigate the next time we have an International Polar Year. There is always a way to contribute to national and global causes. We just need to look for ways to make them personal and relevant to us. I'll look out for more in the future and tell you how I'm getting involved with them at a personal level.

Wild weather

I've been watching the weather get wilder and wilder today. It was forecast for the wind to get up later in the afternoon and they weren't wrong. At about 4pm I drove round to Walltown Quarry where I can quickly get up onto the escarpment of whin sill that much of Hadrian's Wall is built on. When I left the car it was drizzling but it wasn't long before the rain was coming down in sheets with a force 5 or 6 gale behind it. It was a challenge walking in a straight line side on to the wind or walking at the speed I wanted to with the wind behind me.

I was absolutely loving it though. I find wild, stormy weather like that really exciting. I love thunderstorms and I'm currently now waiting for it to snow. This may be a long wait though as I don't expect it to happen until February probably!

But there have been other times when I've reacted very differently to this weather. Its all about attitude. Today I'd dipped out of going to the gym with a friend as I've been a bit snuffly so I decided on a walk instead. I was watching the weather all day and feeling really excited by the wind. So when I finally got out there I had a great time. Yet if I've been on top of a mountain or waiting for a train in similar conditions then I may have found it harder to be so positive. However as long as I have the right kit and I'm not about to be blown off the edge then its all just about the experience. In any situation we all need to remember that the difference between enjoyment and endurance is often just about attitude.

What have you enjoyed today? What have you not enjoyed? What was the difference in your attitude to both of these?

Never say never

Its not over until the fat lady sings, as they say about opera. I have just contacted a long-ago beau from university days. I discovered him on that site that lists friends from everywhere. He's a lovely guy. Well I certainly thought so 20 years ago and from his messages I don't think he's changed (god id it really that long - no actually nearer 30 -aarrggh). Anyway I discovered that he has recently separated from his wife. So there is some chance I suppose that we could get together. Of course there are loads of provisos in that. However it really illustrates the fact that you actually should never say never.

I never imagined that I might rediscover someone from my past. Even though a relationship break-up is always hard, you just never know what might happen in a few years time. And the same is true of lots of things that might disappoint you, where you might feel that you've failed or may not get another chance. Don't ever write it off. That next chance could be just around the corner.

So if you have failed to get the job of your dreams, sing up that top client, get approval for your pet project or just missed the goal with a great shot, never forget that success is always just around the corner. You just have to believe that it is possible, despite the current evidence, and keep going. Because the universe changes and re-orders itself every second, people change over time within that new order and that means that unexpected things can collide again.

So remember - its never time to say never about anything in your life until you are carried away in a box, then the fat lady has truly bellowed!

The climbing wall

I've been to the climbing wall today. This is the first time in ages so I was not expecting great things about my performance. I did enjoy being back moving around on the wall though. There's a quality of freedom that goes with moving around in a more 3D way than you would do just walking along the street. I'd recommend it to anyone and you don't actually need to be very fit just to give it a go.

We warmed up on some slabby stuff and then moved onto some harder things. I was surprised to still be able to handle 6A reasonably well. (This is a pretty hard climbing grade that I probably couldn't do outside on real rock). I hadn't really expected that. I have noticed this before though. You reach a certain level of performance in something and then stop doing it for a while. When you go back you somehow seem to have improved your performance rather than it dropping off as far as you might have expected. I've seen this with lots of things. Maybe it's the mental rehearsal that you've done, thinking about it whilst you weren't doing it. Or maybe it's the at your muscle memory is better than you'd thought.

Its well worth bearing in mind. I hear lots of people telling me that "Well I used to be good at that but it would take me a long time to be that good again". Well in fact that is not always true. Feeling like that can put you off giving things a go, just trying out something that you used to do before - whatever it is and whatever part of your life it is in. So I suggest that if you've had a big gap just give ti a try and see how it feels - I'm going back to the climbing wall again next week if I have time - better get back to work then...

Ministry for Happiness

I was just reading a piece on the BBC about whether or not the government should focus on happiness rather than wealth. Should we be focusing on happiness in the middle of an apparent economic crisis? How do you measure or define happiness? Does the same thing make different people happy? Margaret Hodge, former culture minister defined it thus

"The common understanding across government is that wellbeing is a positive physical, social and mental state; it is not just the absence of pain, discomfort and incapacity. It requires that basic needs are met, that individuals have a sense of purpose, that they feel able to achieve important personal goals and participate in society. It is enhanced by conditions that include supportive personal relationships, strong and inclusive communities, good health, financial and personal security, rewarding employment, and a healthy and attractive environment."

So that's a good place to start. However I bet that many of us have never really thought about what happiness means to us, about what really makes us happy. In fact we often only really notice things that make us happy by their absence. In the words of the song "You don't know what you've got until it's gone". And sometimes it's then too late to do anything about it.

So its time to start your own happiness monitor. Every day when you get up in the morning ask yourself one of these questions:

* "What am I going to do to be happy today?"

* "What am I doing today to be happy?"

* "How am I going to be happy today?"

* "How outrageously happy am I going to be today?"

* "How am I keeping my happiness quotient high today?"

Then when you go to bed ask yourself

* "What will I do tomorrow to keep my happiness high?"

* "What can I keep doing to make me happy?"

* "How will I be happier tomorrow?"

Room 256

Just another week in training……Several nightmare train journeys over several days, closed stations, delays and cancellations, connections not held.  Responsible companies Wales and West, First Great Western, Southern in this instance, they are all pretty much as bad as each other.  Sleepless nights, noisy places, uncomfortable beds.  Getting up to do it all again tomorrow. 

But I have to say that Wednesday night was probably my worst experience of hotel customer care, ever.  A premier hotel group.  Country house hotel, extensive grounds, conference centre.   Their website tells me

"Professionalism, first-class customer service and attention to detail are the hallmarks of our properties and nothing is too much trouble for our team of dedicated and attentive staff. "

I arrive in a very hot room, about 30 degrees, radiator off, portable air con (ineffective).  This is Southern England in October and I’m in a room warmer than the one I had in Darwin three weeks ago, what is going on, exactly. 

There is no way that I can sleep in that temperature and I request a different room.  Hotel full.  I persuade the manager to visit the room.  He is surprised at the heat and suggests that it might be from….wait for it….”The October sun heating up the brickwork”!! ……bearing in mind it was now 10pm and frosty outside.  The best alternative he could offer was keeping my window open – all night, on the ground floor!  He promises to “sort something out with the bill”.  At this point I give up, if I’d had my car I would have decamped to somewhere else.

I sleep very little, kept awake not just by the heat but also by the loud rumbling from huge fans underneath the room.  I discover that my room is above the hotel main heating or cooling plant room.  Its chucking out loads of heat to the outside through a 6 foot high vent in the wall, as well as upwards into my room.  In the morning they try to charge me full price - £90.  I tell them I will pay only £30 after my appalling night.  They then say - Oh but it doest't matter as the cost is going back to the company so you won't have to pay it anyway.  I tell them that is even worse, making someone else pay for service that has not actually been delivered.  I say I will pay £30 and that’s what I pay.

 But my question is…….

That overheated room was a known problem as evidenced by the air con machine.  Its not an accident.  Its been too hot in that room since the wing was built.  So why wasn’t I told about it at check-in?  Why was it apparently a surprise to the manager?  What sort of establishment knows its accommodation that well?  What sort of manager forgets to “sort out” the bill?  Would you stay there again?  I feel like a patsy – I can almost hear the hotel staff laughing behind their hands – yes 256, good room, it’s a chilly night.  And I won’t even start to tell you about the breakfast……

So tonight I arrive at my next hotel, in a different town, booked entirely independently, believing that it must be better.  And, hooray, I am given a suite, a separate lounge, comfy sofa, two toilets, flat screen telly, coffee table, king size bed, two entrances.  So its great to show that when you have hit rock bottom it can get better.  Keep believing it!  It can happen to you!  But I am never going back to the other place.  And a letter to their customer care director will follow shortly.  But it may be a lost cause.